I recently returned from a short escape to Wyoming and the Grand Teton National Park. This was a reunion trip for myself and my sister. We had visited over 20 years ago on a family vacation with my parents.
My Father passed away not so very long after that trip. I was not prepared for the memories and the feeling that he was somehow there. I felt his presence. Even more difficult was the distinct impression that by leaving, I was somehow losing him again. Life, with all of it’s uncertainty, made me feel like I would never see that beautiful place again.
In all the busyness of my return to the chaos of family life, I wondered why I have a tendency to feel this way. I have spent too many years worrying about what others think. Quietly wondering why others seem to exude confidence I can fake, yet not feel.
Part of the answer is found in the wonder of nature.
Those quiet moments of awe that anything can be so perfect and beautiful – while surviving the wearing down of time.
The perfection is held in the flaws. The imperfect beauty that we witness, because we didn’t see these places hundreds or thousands of years ago. We only know what is in existence now, after the tumultuous events that shaped this place.
That is what my whole being has been trying to process. All of the events (both amazing and horrifying) in my life, have shaped the person I am today. Not many have been around long enough to see the development of my character.
I am the product of genetics, family, friends, and events. Only now have I begun to witness the beauty of who I am. It may not be everyone’s definition of charm, but acceptance of who I am will allow me to finally express myself.
So, I continue in my journey, and write to those who will listen.
Thoughts of Enigmatic Minds 